Last Resort

I’ve noticed something about myself.

I don’t go to God first.

I go to Him when everything else runs out.

When the options are gone.
When the conversations didn’t work.
When the plan I was sure about starts slipping.

Then I pray.

Not because I suddenly became spiritual.
Because I ran out of ways to fix it.

Somewhere along the way, I turned God into a last resort.

Backup plan.
Emergency contact.
The call I make when nothing else answers.

I don’t shout that from the mountaintop.

But my actions do.

And, honestly, it shows what I trust most.

My thinking.
My effort.
My ability to figure it out.

Until I can’t.

Proverbs 3:5–6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.

Not last.

All.

That’s the part I tend to skip.

I don’t think the problem is that I forget God exists.

I think I forget where He belongs.

Not at the end of the process.

At the beginning of it.

Before I convince myself I’ve got it handled.

Because most of the time, what I call control
is just delayed surrender.

I’m learning to go to Him sooner.

Not because I’m out of options.

But because I finally understand
He was never supposed to be one of them.

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