Shaping Arrows

As a Gen X parent, I carried a lot of conflict.
I grew up in a home where love was never in doubt, but control was the way things worked. Do what I tell you and don’t ask questions.

That was the parenting style of the time. My parents were passing down what had been handed to them.

When I became a father, I stepped into that same pattern. I thought strength meant being in control. I thought love meant holding tight.

But arrows are not meant to stay in the quiver.
Psalm 127:4 says, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”

An arrow has to be shaped, balanced, and sharpened. And then it has to be released.

Parenting has taught me that my role is less about control and more about direction. My job is to prepare my children to fly.
Through listening, guiding, showing grace, and living my faith in front of them.
And maybe most importantly, teaching them where to find the answers to their questions.

The release is not one moment. It comes in pieces.
The first time they walk into school without you.
The first time they drive away on their own.
The day you sit at their wedding and realize you are no longer the center of their world.

Each time, you feel the pull. You want to grab the arrow back. But the truth is, they were never meant to stay in your grip.

The hardest part is the worry about where they land.

Every parent feels that tension. Holding on. Letting go. But every day, in the small and ordinary moments, we are shaping arrows. Preparing them for a future we cannot see but God already holds.

Even if what you see today concerns you, know their story is still not finished.
God has the final say. He is still working.

My children were never mine to keep.
They were entrusted to me to shape, to teach, to guide, and to release.
After that, it’s trusting God to do His part.

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