The Reflection

I was on a long flight out west this week, trying to get some work done. The plane’s WiFi wasn’t cooperating, so I decided to restart my Mac.

The screen went dark. And for a moment, it became a mirror.

My immediate thought was, “Who is that old guy?”

I’m serious. There was a brief second when I didn’t recognize my own reflection.

In my mind, I am 25. Apparently, my face and my mind have been keeping different calendars.

I sat with that for a while. Somewhere over the country, with my work temporarily out of reach, I found myself looking at someone I should know better than anyone.

How strange to live every day of a life and still be surprised by the years.

We experience them from the inside, one ordinary morning at a time. We make coffee. We answer messages. We worry about something that may never happen. The days feel familiar, even as they quietly change us.

Then a photograph, a window, or a dark computer screen lets us see what time has been doing.

I wonder how often I do this beyond the mirror. Carry an old picture of myself into a new season. Forget to account for what I’ve learned, what I’ve survived, what I’ve finally learned to hold more gently.

The psalmist wrote, “So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom”

I think there is something tender in asking God to teach us how to recognize the time we have been given. I can count the years easily enough. Understanding their worth takes more attention.

There are things I understand now that I couldn’t have understood at 25. There are judgments I make more slowly. There are people whose struggles make more sense to me because I have had a few of my own.

I would like to think some of that has found its way into the face looking back at me.

There is still a 25-year-old in here. Curious. Hopeful. Convinced there is plenty of time. I’m glad he’s still around.

But I think the man in the reflection deserves a little more of my attention.

He has lived a lot of the life that young man could only imagine.

If you have ever been surprised by your own reflection, take a moment to appreciate the life behind it. Share this with someone who has walked a few of those years beside you.

First Light
www.firstlightblog.org

A daily reflection on faith, leadership, and life. One honest thought each morning to help you start grounded, focused, and full of grace before the world even wakes up.

By Nathan Clark

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