Who Am I?
I have lived long enough to learn a million ways to end up somewhere I don’t belong.
A considerable number of those dead ends began when I tried to be someone other than who I was created to be. All the while thinking that was who I really was.
Being transparent here, I struggled with this for a very long time.
For years, I’m not sure I really had my own belief system. I had inherited one. I knew what I was supposed to say. I knew how I was supposed to act. I knew the language. I knew the secret handshakes.
So I went through the motions and hoped nobody noticed.
And somewhere deep down, I suppose I thought if I faked it well enough, maybe even God wouldn’t know the difference.
That sounds ridiculous when I write it.
God knew.
He also knew the person underneath all of it.
Psalm 139 says, “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 NKJV
There is something freeing about realizing God never asked me to become somebody else. He already knew exactly who He created.
I still catch myself comparing. Performing. Trying to become the version of me I think other people will appreciate more.
But I’m learning.
The closer I get to God, the less interested I am in pretending.
So maybe, just maybe, you feel the same way.
Maybe you have been trying to be someone else’s version of who you should be.
My advice would be pretty simple.
Just stop.
You can spend a lifetime becoming someone everybody else approves of and still completely miss the person God created you to be.
First Light
www.firstlightblog.org
A daily reflection on faith, leadership, and life. One honest thought each morning to help you start grounded, focused, and full of grace before the world even wakes up.
By Nathan Clark
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